Humor und Satire

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The VB4 Car


Let's say I've just bought a new car. It goes 25mph less than advertised, they left out the sunroof and central locking due to delivery problems, it arrived 3 months late, and occasionally it stops for no reason. You wouldn't accept that from a car manufacturer, why do you accept it from a software company. Well, if your planning to get the VB4 car, you might want to note a few things:

- it's a little on the heavy side, but if you drop your 586-66 motor for a 686-166, you can do decent speeds -- oh, and make sure to get a turbo charger to RAM higher density air into the intake

- it has a cool new car radio, but unfortunately your gas mileage drops to 5 mpg while you have it turned on

- it *almost* supports the structural features of the Delphi car, but hey, who cares if doesn't have a steering wheel -- while other cars have had them for a while, all the car models coming from Redmond Motors seem to be doing okay without them

- there's been a few reported problems with spontaneous combustion, but Redmond Motors has narrowed down the cause to use of the accelerator pedal. In most cases, if you don't use the accelerator, you won't get burned.

- ever since its rollout, the VB car has relied on the slower VBRun viscously-coupled torque converter for its drive train. But don't despair, Redmond Motors is promising a real clutch for the next version of the car.