FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn
with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government
gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn
with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You
have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations
say you should need.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care
of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you
all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government
takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed
farm animals in an apartment.
MILITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets
the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After
the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.
The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BRITISH DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The
government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed
them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After
that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.
ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours
try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - - law at the bank,
then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk
rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman
Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the
rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report
says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile,
you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.
ENVIRONMENTALISM
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
TOTALITARIANISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed.
Milk is banned.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
phallo - centric, war - mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged
(but no less valuable to society) bovines of non - specified gender.
COUNTER CULTURE
Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some
of this milk.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.