Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
Q: Did you hear about the Microsoft crystal ball?
A: Ask it something and it replies: "Answer unclear. Add 20 Meg of RAM and ask again later."
Q: How many MS engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just define darkness as an industry standard!
Q: Why don't the British build computers?
A: Because they can't figure out how to make them leak oil!
Q. Somebody asked me "What happens to programmers when they die?"
A: They get deallocated? Their values become undefined? The get re-intialized? Their structues break down? They become WORM food ... They start dropping bits ... They branch to a new address! Their social system resources are released? They dump core? [a coredump is the result of an abort()ion]
Q. What do you get when you cross 200K of apples and lots of garbage?
A. A core dump
Q. Have you heard about the new Cray? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.
Q. What do miniskirts and hard disks have in common?
A. Access time.
Q. Why is "256 Ways To Make Love" the most quoted book on the Internet?
A. It is the Fucking Manual
Q. What do Unix sysadmins do when they're horny?
A. Mount a filesystem.