Humor und Satire
Computerwelt
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A long, long time ago, I can still remember how those schemes used to make me smile... And I knew that if I ruled the world, Then I would send those jerks to hell And maybe I'd be happy, for a while... |
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But bulk e-mailers made me shiver Every second, they'd deliver Junk mail on my doorstep, I couldn't take one more step... |
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Until now, I've never tried To filter out that spam deep-fried But something touched me deep inside The day, my server, died. |
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So... Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry Them good old admins let this spam slip by Singing, "This'll be the day that I die; This'll be the day that I die." |
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Do you have faith in MLM, And do you think Good Times will cause mayhem, Because your e-mail tells you so? Do you believe in pyramids Free Money, and all that stuff that kids Circulate to make the Internet real slow? |
+-------------+ |# ad me | |`-# Re:ad me | |# EASY MONEY | |# XXX PICS!! | +-------------+ |
Well I know the Net is full of crime 'Cause I get this spam stuff all the time But I can't just run away Because I haven't checked Usenet yet today... |
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I am a lonely teenage computer nerd With a dual boot of Linux and Hurd, But I foresaw the Reich of Gates the Third The day, my server, died. |
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I started singing: Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry Them good old admins let this spam slip by Singing, "This'll be the day that I die; This'll be the day that I die." |
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Now for nigh on ten years we've been on our own While the Web grows fat on it's commercial throne, But that's not how it used to be; While the gopher sang for academic jocks In Veronica's closet and Archie's box, Tim invented the H T tepee... |
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And while Berners-Lee was looking down Andreesen stole his thorny crown Enquire Within was adjourned And a 404 was returned And while Oracular Priests gave out their marks The Kibologists practised in the park And I sang a ditty in the dark The day, my server, died. |
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I was singing: Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry Them good old admins let this spam slip by Singing, "This'll be the day that I die; This'll be the day that I die." |
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With custom tags, and a file mime The browsers began to waste our time Eight megabytes high and growing fast; And as Id Est and the Lizard fought in the grass, The open-sourcers caught the pass With the Mosaic all in pieces, in the dust. |
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Now the smell of Java was sweet perfume But the Borg was playing a fighting tune We all got ready to dance Oh, but we never got the chance... 'Cause the programmers tried to take the field But the .java classes refused to yield Do you remember what Sun's tests revealed The day, the server, died. |
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We had been singing: Bye bye OS, you're just pie in the sky We don't need you any more, so we'll kiss you goodbye But the good old Borg were drinking decaf, and why? 'Cause that would be the day that they die That would be the day that they die. |
1 (?) 2 ) 3 .._o 4 ..://\/ 5 ..:_/\ 6 ..:/ |
And meanwhile, ASCII artists in our places A generation lost in tabs and spaces Trying to make our pics look right; So keep your sigs to four lines or three And make sure that you use PGP 'Cause crypto is freedom's only friend... |
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And as I saw Bill on the screen and Steve on the stage My hands were clenched in fists of rage This was worse than a spammer Where was that woman with her hammer? And as the flames came flooding in alt.silly.newsgroups.clogged.up.tin I saw the Borg wear an evil grin The day, my server, died. |
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I was singing: Bye bye scam, you're just pie in the sky Drove the Albanians crazy, and sucked them all dry Them good old admins let this spam slip by Singing, "This'll be the day that I die; This'l be the day that I die." |
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I met a girl, Emily Postnews And I asked for her to cure my blues, But she just smiled and cancelled me; I went down to the cybercafe Where I'd heard you didn't have to pay But the man there said that the Net was down today... |
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Because the y2k had rolled around And the Net had crashed into the ground And not a byte was spoken The software all was broken... And the three men I admire most, Stallman, Linus, and the Oracular Ghost, They took a Chevy to the coast, The day, our servers, died. |
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And they were singing: Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry We can start again one day, if only we try And I said, "That'll be the day that I die; That'll be the day that I die." |
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We're all singing: Bye bye spam, you're just pie in the sky The Net is all gone, but let's not just cry We can start again one day, if only we try Even if that is the day that we die; Even if that is the day...that we die. |
Copyright (C) 1998 Matthew Thomas (with apologies to Don McLean). This work may be freely copied, forwarded, or otherwise reproduced, as long as this copyright message is included.