Logo
Humor und Satire

≡ ▲

Maintenance complaints

Computerwelt

These are alledged to be some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US airline pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:


Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."


Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."


Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."

Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."


Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."

Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."


Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."


Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."


Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."


Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."


Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."


Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."


Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."


Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."