Humor und Satire

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Future Airplanes To Be Up Controlled


Future airplanes will be controlled by microcomputers. Here is what each version, by operating system, will look like.

Everybody pushes it till it glides, jumps on, and lets it coast till it skids... then jumps off, pushes, jumpsback on, etc ...

Same as DOS but with more leg room to push.

All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage habdlers, etc., look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details you are told you don't need to know. don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without knowing, so shut up.

To get on board you have to have your ticket stamped 10 different times by standing in 10 different lines; then you have to fill out a form that states how you want your seating arrangement to be -- weather it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you are successful in getting on board and getting off the ground you have a wonderful, enjoyable, trip... except for times when the rudder and flaps freeze stuck, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get your personal things in order before the crash.

Nice colorful airport terminal, friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to a plane, uneventful takeoff ... then BOOM! you blow up without any warning whatsoever.

Everyone sits on the runway and forms the outline of a plane, then they just sit there and go "PHHLLZZZSSST" like there flying.

Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when the come to the airport. Then they go out on the runway and piece it together, all the time arguing about what kind of plane they are building.